Homer Wisdom 

• "Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family."
• "I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight." 
• "Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs. I know this because I worked alongside them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions time and again. And I say... This stinks!"
• "That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"
• "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'." 
• "God bless those pagans."
• "I'm in a place where I don't know where I am!" 
• "I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t....I mean s-m-A-r-t." 
• "Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy." 
• "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe). 
• "Don't mess with the dead, boy, they have eerie powers."
• "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"
• "Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!" 
• "Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!"